Why work with me?
I Intimately Know The Battle of Sexual Brokenness - AND HAVE FREEDOM!
I saw pornography for the first time when I was 7 years old and it quickly became an out-of-control habit. I did my best to hide and things got worse as I did so. I hit my low while I was in college. On the surface I was a Christian man trying to earn his engineering degree and serving in his local church. Underneath, I was confused about my sexuality, secretly hooking up online, addicted to porn and full of anxiety about it all. I was completely hopeless and found myself praying for a miracle. During this time, members of my family began having dreams about what was going on in my life and started confronting me. At first I lied and pretended nothing was going on, but eventually I took the opportunity to stop running from the truth. I believe God’s answer to my prayer of “Please take this away Lord!” was “Stephen, here’s an opportunity to stop hiding. Would you like to take it?” At this time, I began a journey of building a life without secrets and eventually I began to experinece freedom - freedom that’s lasted for over 16 years!
I Intimately Know The Pain of A Broken Marriage - AND UNDERSTAND THAT RECOVERY IS ABOUT LEARNING TO CONNECT
After falling in love and marrying an incredible woman, I thought life was going to be easy. In my mind, I had finally turned the corner in life regarding sexual brokenness and believed things would be smooth sailing from that time forward. I was dumbfounded to learn that for some reason connection was hard for us. I realize now that I had no skills in navigating conflict with my wife. Years of sexual acting out had taught me to escape pain. Instead of connecting with her and working through hard conversations that a healthy marriage needs, I blamed her. I dismissed her. I called her names. Five years in, she wanted to leave me. We chose to get help and stayed with it until we saw change. I learned that recovery is so much more than being free from problematic unhealthy sexuality. It’s also learning to connect. It’s learning to stop avoiding and instead bond to those near and dear to us. Today, I am humbly on a journey of continuously growing my ability love and pursue my beautiful wife Lisa. Doing so is the greatest gift in my life.
Testimonies
“Stephen is a God-send in my life! He has been an incredible support and voice for change in my life during a very hard season. He calls out the voices of condemnation and self-hatred in my life. I am experiencing renewal in the way I interact with God, friends, women, family, and myself in ways I didn't think would see change. Pursuing coaching with Stephen is one of the best decisions on my life.”
- Jon D.
Masterclass Testimonial:
“This is such a great resource! The tools Stephen provides in this class are incredibly helpful. He explores the root causes of why we act out and offers practical solutions to address them. The assignments and tasks are hands-on and highly applicable. Being part of a small group while going through this was invaluable—it created a space to learn from each other along the way. Stephen’s approach to teaching, with thoughtful questions and a focus on making everyone feel seen and heard, is truly refreshing. It helped me understand myself better and have much more grace for my journey. I’ve gained new tools to process things in a much healthier way. God created my emotions; He didn’t give them to me so I could pretend they don’t exist. This class is well worth the time and investment!”
-Leon J.
“Stephen has been such a wonderful, God given tool in this journey of Betrayal Trauma healing. Several times, Stephen encouraged and allowed me to join my husbands coaching session where he helped us process my concerns and fears with wise insight and empathy.”
- Sam R.
“In my time with Stephen, his insight to uncover the trauma of my childhood that was at the root of my sin and addiction, made it possible to feel and find my voice, which was pivotal in my recovery. His guidance also taught me the empathy necessary for me to relate to my wife’s trauma and how to communicate with her in new ways. Stephen always pointed me back to God and gave me wisdom and courage to heal from the stronghold of sexual sin.”
-Rich R.
“Stephen is an incredibly empathetic person and has been an amazing coach! I have struggled with sexual brokenness and acting out behavior since I was a teenager (40 years ago). I first met Stephen as the leader of a small group coaching experience. I had never done small group coaching before so I didn’t know exactly what to expect but Stephen was very encouraging with those of us who had not participated in that type of an environment previously. That coaching was great for me and I was sad to have it end. My wife commented on the significant changes that she could see in my recovery and encouraged me to approach Stephen about continuing to work with him in 1:1 coaching. I have been coaching with Stephen for 9 months and have made some of the most significant progress to date in my inner child and family of origin recovery work. If you’re thinking about adding recovery coaching, I highly recommend that you meet and have a conversation with Stephen.”
- Mike M.
”Working with Stephen has been an incredible step on my journey in healing and recovery. From our first appointment I felt both heard and validated. Stephen affirmed my pain and helped me understand the impact it's had on my life. I appreciated Stephen's authentic and down to earth approach which allowed me to grow comfortable sharing in our sessions. I recommend Stephen to guys who are struggling with their porn addiction, masculinity issues, or even unwanted sexual attraction. Stephen's got a gift and the Lord is certainly using it to offer hope and healing to men on their journey of recovery.”
-Darrin T.
“I came into my engagement with Stephen just a few months ago - incredibly nervous, broken, and full of shame. I've found the sessions to be so very helpful, and I'm often surprised at where we end up going. I am always confident that the Holy Spirit is present and leading in a natural way and am thankful for the sensitve spirit in Stephen. I leave feeling encouraged and refreshed and often with some homework. This has been life giving and I already see growth in areas I just didn't really believe would ever change. Lots of tears at times, but the work is definitely helping. I'm experiencing new levels of freedom and Stephen been a great guide along the way.”
- Brent H.
“I found Stephen to be incredibly insightful and helpful. He was able to help me dig into some painful parts of my past, really unpack those and understand how they were impacting me today. Beyond that, he gave me tools to deal with those impacts in a healthy way. He was not afraid to challenge me, but he did it in a loving and understanding way. I feel that I've experienced significant healing from my sessions with him and my life is better as a result.”
-Ben W.
“Stephen is so much more than just a "coach." He is a gifted Shepherd stewarding men towards wholeness and healing. He is kind, confident, compassionate, articulate, dynamic and engaging. Anyone who is considering working with Stephen should absolutely make the investment in their lives as husband, father, brother, and friend.”
-Randy C.
“I have had the good fortune to be in one of Stephen’s small groups, participate on his client zoom calls and I have been one of his 1:1 coaching clients. My experience with all three services has been fantastic! Scheduling with Stephen is online and efficient, as is the application he uses for assigning worksheets and for journaling. His coaching is direct, insightful and grounded in truth. All that, combined with his engaging wit and compassion, has made working with Stephen a great experience!”
-Rod J.
“Stepping into a small group was an incredibly Frightening experience but after the first meeting with Stephen I knew I had made the right choice. Stephen is very good at attuning into what people need to hear and saying it. Stephen also does an incredible job of keeping group dynamics in check. I always felt safe and like I could say anything I needed to in his small group. Lastly, Stephen helped me find my voice. As a man who grew up feeling insignificant and dismissed Stephen helped me find a way to love myself and to be able to stand up for myself. If you are in question, Stephen is an incredible leader and mentor.”
-John B.
“Stephen is a man that leads with conviction and humility. From the first time I spoke with him over 2 years ago, he has consistently chosen into vulnerability and breaking the bonds of shame. He not only helped me get rid of porn in my life, but he became an example of how a godly man pursues his savior, his wife, and his children. I’m so grateful for Stephen’s faithfulness to the call that God has clearly given him.”
- Adam E.
“Stephen is an awesome guy! He is very insightful and inspirational! Our time together has made me a better man/husband/father and Christian! I look forward to our meetings!”
-anonymous